I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
