Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
