I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
