After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
