I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
