just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
