It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
