She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
