So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
