AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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