loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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