sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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