well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
