those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
