I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Randomize
