Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
