Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
