I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
