What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
