It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
