my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Green mimosas i think yes
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
