Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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