At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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