YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
