Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
