Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
