The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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