the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
