There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
handjob tips. give me some.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
