Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he shaved USA in his pubs
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Randomize
