Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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