normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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