Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
