Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
