i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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