Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
