as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I have aggressive nipples.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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