C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
