Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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