I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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