Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
