we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
