It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
