We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
