maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
