He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My life is pants optional.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
