I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
