we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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