There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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