lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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